Trial by fire...

Ahh, Thanksgiving has come and gone for another year. This was my first time ever cooking a turkey and let me tell you the bird rocked. Let me tell ya about the day itself...I worked till 6 am, came home and went to bed for a few hours. I got up and proceeded to call my dad and ask a zillion questions about the bird and the butternut squash, I didn't know I had this squash or any idea on how to cook it, he answered lovingly and patiently at this time (continue reading) I prepared the roaster oven that I was going to use for the turkey to free up the oven, where everything else would be cooking. OK roaster oven is ready. It has cured for 60 minutes and smoke has filled the house, the box says this will happen, luckily it was 60 degrees outside so I was able to open the windows and not make PUPSICLES (I have dogs, get it, PUPSICLES HEE HEE) I open the wrapping on the bird, look at it and realize I don't like looking at it uncooked, it is so unappetising. I wash it according to the directions in cold water (the bird still had ice on the inside) again I consult dad about the ice he says it's OK and to continue on. Oh I should mention that at this time it is 12:30 PM and the entire family without me is at a restaurant eating their dinner. I actually heard my dad ordering as he picked up the phone, I believe he was ordering Prime Rib as he knew he'd be feasting on turkey later that evening. OK where was I? Oh yeah the phone call to dad...I hang up and immediately call back to confirm that there is only one bag and the neck in the bird as that is all I can find, he confirms and again we hang up. I have mixed the butter and spices and apply them to the bird and place it in the roaster, so far so good. I start to get everything out of the fridge so that I can make the side dishes...What are the onions and celery doing in here I didn't buy them, so I call dad (dad supplied the turkey and a few side items, wait you'll see)...I ask him about the stuff and he tells me they are to go on the bottom of the pan the turkey is in. What the turkey is already in, arhh. I cut them up, open the roaster pick up the bird place the stuff on the bottom, reapply the bird, mind you I'm hold it with tongs though the hole, because it is a slippery little sucker, OK turkey is back in cooking. Now back to the sides, I made the green bean casserole, set it aside, I have made the candied yams and set them aside, acorn squash?...Phone call to dad, How is this cooked again? I get "You have cooked acorn squash for the past 4 years write it down for crying out loud." I get the directions and hang up, again. Acorn squash is salted and ready to go. I peel the potatoes and set in water, stuffing is also ready to go, yeah. Have I missed anything? Oh, while doing all this I have vacuumed the house, done the laundry, washed all the dishes (no, I do not have a dishwasher) walked the dogs and it is 3 pm. Ah, hubby will be arriving home in a few minutes, to help out, yeah!!! At 3:10 pm hubby arrives and tells me mom and dad are right behind him, I say ya right, not funny, I haven't showered yet and they are not due until 6 pm... I look over his shoulder to see my mom getting out of the truck, dad and sister following behind, OH great! I smile and tell them if they are expecting pretty she hasn't shone up yet, and I haven't had time to take a shower and the dogs were out. Dad says no problem and they continue in the house. Mom is greeted first by Riley the super energized Boxer and jumper extraordinaire. Up he goes and down goes mom, thankfully she is used to these greetings so her fall was assisted by my bakers rack. Dad is next, he is greeted by a very well behaved Annabelle. My dogs are very hyper when people enter the house, they sniff, paw and get in your face...thankfully this only last for 5 minutes then they could care less that you are there at all, so we survive the few minutes. Dad goes on to explain that it was easier for him to come to the house and supervise the cooking of the meal than to try and do it over the phone (I love my dad) then he says Thanksgiving is about turkey, family and football...family is accounted for, turkey in the roaster and football is no where in site, where the hell is the football he asks (I had a movie playing that I was watching/or rather listening to, oh well) Hubby walks into living room grabs the remote and is now channel surfing for the coveted game... he finds it, ahh all is right with the world. I now prepare the cracker and cheese platters (I thought I had 3 more hours to get this done, but oh well) Platters prepared and set out. I tell mom the the cheese with the stuff in it is HOT, it's habinero jalapeno cheese, and the white one is Cheddar. She grabs a piece of cheese and a cracker, in it goes and as fast as it went in, it came out..apparently she was not using her listening ears because she HATES anything hot...we all get a good laugh, and she gets plenty of milk. OK we're all good now, mom is not on fire anymore and the boys have football. Two hours pass and I put the side dishes in the oven to cook...oh the rolls I knew I almost forgot something, mom saves the day by asking "Aren't you serving the rolls I sent?" Crisis averted, rolls are in the oven. I check the bird, the thingy has not popped and the sides are 20 minutes from being cooked, AHH hello little birdie COOK for crying out loud, don't make me look bad in front of daddy. He's expecting a wonderful dinner, how can it be wonderful if the main dish is not cooked...Well the sides are done and out of the oven, I decide to take the bird out of the roaster and place it in the oven to finish cooking. I turn around and see that my younger brother and his children have arrived. Great, they are not supposed to be here till 7 pm and it's only 6:15 pm can't anyone tell time in this family? I welcome them in and go through the whole dog show again... I tell them we have not eaten yet as the bird is not cooked and the 6 year old says oh good I'm starving. What? Who said he could eat I had planned a dinner for 5 not 8, my brothers Christmas gift just decreased by 30 bucks (we have a $50 limit) I get everything on the table minus the bird and my dad declares it a vegetarian thanksgiving, ha ha. My nephew asks if he can have some stuffing, and proceeds to place the spoon in it, looks up and asks his Grammy if she can do it because it's stuck. Mind you it was NOT burnt, it was just really settled into the baking dish. Grammy manages to get some loose, he tries it and says to me "Auntie this is awesome, Grampy never makes makes crunchy stuffing, this is good stuff." Got to love the mind workings of a 6 year old. My sister then gets up to get a drink, yup you bet I forgot to get drinks before we sat down, what a hostess I am, anyway she checks on the bird and it has popped, yeah life is good, right? We get the bird out and placed on a platter and is sitting waiting to be carved... Annabelle my beloved Beagle is barking at the door...knock knock knock...(mind you we have not eaten yet) Older brother, his wife, son and his in-laws are standing on my side porch...wonderful, NOT! I welcome them in to my home, and again with the dog show...I have the smallest house in the universe...and I now have 13 people packed into it and 2 dogs, who are so hyper they can't get out of their own way. I tell them all we have not eaten yet as it is 6:30 and the have arrived 30 minutes early...OK the decision has been made they are all getting $10 Timex watches for Christmas and I'm getting the digital ones to boot. They have all graduated and have great jobs, why can't they tell time? OK, I carve the bird and place it on the table...everyone is full from eating the side dishes already that they don't have room left for turkey. WHAT? I personally tell each one, that they will be having turkey even if I have to force feed it to them, they comply with my demands, wise choice on their part. The table is cleared and most of the dishes are done, it's time for pie...and birthday cake (nephew turning 13) I place everything on the table and get the knife, we sing Happy Birthday, nephew blows our the candle lighter, because yes, I forgot to buy candles at the store. (They called at 6 pm Wednesday and asked if we could have his birthday cake on Thanksgiving, his dad was in the hospital on the actual day and I agreed, I thought they were bringing the cake and the candles. Who knew I was supposed to have candles? Whatever, he thought it was unique. I serve up the cake and go to the kitchen 5 feet away to get something, and when I get back the Dutch Apple Pie I have been craving all year is gone. Gone, as in everyone is eating it but me! This was a huge 14 inch pie made with a special pie plate, here in town. I have looking forward to this pie, this particular pie for 6 months. She only makes this pie for Thanksgiving, you can't get it any other time of year. I am not happy, and hubby was smiling eating his Lemon Meringue pie and said "oh just have cake, it's really good I had some before the pie." Did I fall into some time vortex I was only gone 30 seconds. How the hell did the pie go that fast? Well, needless to say I had cake for dessert. I am at this time exhausted, I have only sat down to eat and only got 3 hours of sleep before preparing the dinner and I have to be at work in 1 hour, so much for sleep today. Everyone leaves and the house seems so empty, I go into the kitchen to finish cleaning and I notice, I forgot to cook the butternut squash...oh well there is always next year. We really enjoyed having everyone there, even the puppies were on their best behavior. The fun continues this weekend, we are moving mom and dad into a retirement community, with all the amenities and friends there we may never see them again...oh wait they are hosting Christmas Breakfast...at 6pm. I have to work overtime Christmas morning and hubby has to work too, so instead of a big dinner, dad will be cooking a huge breakfast feast in the evening. Christmas morning breakfast is tradition in our family before opening gifts, but this year everyone is staying home in the morning and getting together in the evening and celebrating.